Thursday, August 26, 2010

AIRPLANE AMBIVALENCE

I must have thousands of words in my vocabulary and yet the one foremost in my brain lately expresses only my inability to understand. It was weird to be back in the states; it's weird to be back in the motherland. It's weird that I don't know where my home is. It was weird to wander eerily deserted brightly lit Seattle grocery stores piping inoffensive soft rock, trying to use all of my powers of logic to figure out where, in the product pantheon, baking soda was hiding; it was weird to be back in my Beijing apartment yesterday unpacking and to look down and realize that without ever being conscious of it I had somehow removed my shoes and put on my house slippers. Sometimes what should be foreign slips on easily: Chinese on my tongue, feet keeping pace with pedestrians and dodging various motorized vehicles, and what should be familiar sticks uncomfortably like a peanut butter sandwich eaten in the desert.

It was grand to see beloved people, to look into your shining eyes, but I am ever unsatisfied with the limited time I have to spread among those I want to share it with. I want to tell you about the year I've had and hear about yours but until we have brain sharing igoggles we're just going to have to make do with words, and when those won't do, hugs. On this visit in particular it seemed, with several lovely exceptions, that I was especially unable to communicate. It was weird.

I felt like the madman who has seen something that has so shattered him that all he can do is clutch at strangers with wild eyes, except in my case I want to shake people and implore them: "can't you see what I've seen? don't you understand that our lives are different now? don't you want to know CHINA?"

It's not, of course, that anyone I know isn't interested in China, it's that I don't know how to show it to you. I was thinking of this as my plane began its descent from the Mongolian grasslands, down over the mountains that give way to the plateau of Beijing, and how I wished certain people were sitting next to me so I could gab at them about what we were seeing. So I took some pictures and made some mental notes.

China still has beautiful, wild places.

The mountains above are where the Great Wall snakes and towers, though it isn't quite visible here.

But inhabitable places are inevitably inhabited.

Outside of the something like 170 Chinese cities with populations of one million or more are endless small settlements like this one, many bustling in their own right, others providing a source for the hundreds of millions of migrant workers in the country (the largest movement of humans in history).

The standards for comfortable living established by rich, sparsely populated countries are aspired to by those living in poor, densely populated countries.

Above, one of the numerous "villa communities" outside Beijing proper, places with names like "Shakespeare Town" and "White Peony Hollywood Village" that take out multi-page ads in the glossy real estate magazines I sometimes pick up at the gym. While the vast majority of the Chinese population lives comparatively lightly on the planet, occupying small spaces, using public transport, conserving water, using 1/4 the energy used by the average American, the wealthy folks (including, I should mention, some foreigners) who occupy developments like this live like the elite of another European era, far away from the teeming hordes, retaining drivers, wet nurses, maids, and even enjoying (if the magazines are to be believed) such bizarre luxuries as private waterfalls. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the homes of the new rulers of the world.

Infrastructural capacity hints at plans and potential for continued economic growth based on personal consumption.

"It's interesting to see all those huge roads with hardly any cars on them, isn't it?", said the man next to me on the plane as we flew over one of these highways. New highway and road construction was occurring at breakneck speeds over the second half of the decade (nicely treated in Hessler's Country Driving) and received a further boast from the 2008 stimulus package implemented in response to the global economic crisis. Cars are comparatively few now, but with Chinese car buyers now outnumbering American car buyers, and Chinese car companies growing both on their own accord and through acquisition (i.e. Geely's recent purchase of Volvo), these highways should fill up fast.

The air really is awful.

I saw Jonathan Watts, Asia environment correspondent for The Guardian, speak about his new book a few weeks ago and make the argument that "Red China" has become "Gray China". There is hardly a better illustration for the national unwillingness to sacrifice economic gains for environmental improvements than the descent into a Chinese metropolis. Sky never looks so blue as when you know you won't see it again for months.

I love it. I hate it. I love it. I fear it.

We've all heard similar inconceivably large numbers and frightening trends associated with China, and not a day passes here when I don't see people's appetites for cars, plastics, and concrete and worry about what it means for our world. So much of what is happening here goes against all the principles I have always held dear, and yet, as I saw the sights above from my window seat I felt an unaccountable affection for the monster. What is wrong with me?

I think it's probably that I love an underdog, and even though most of the world regards China with a mixture of curiosity, fear, and admiration, living here you come to understand that Chinese folks don't see their nation as an industrial-policy-wielding human-rights-abusing new superpower, but rather, on a good day, The Little Engine That Could. I want to cheer for the Chinese people who have been through so much in this century and have worked so hard to obtain their own version of the good life, and, too, I feel so at home around bicycles and street markets and earnest belief in the transformative power of education and hard work, so much less than I do in the land of cars and strip malls and irony. 中国加油!

If only it weren't for the things I see from the air or the train or the streets reminding me that this little engine won't stop until it has eaten all the oil and burned down all the trees. Don't fall in love with national entities boys and girls; it will only lead to tears.

COLORADO SPRINGS

At the beginning of August I went to Colorado Springs for a week

to visit my dad

and his birds,

Nick, Nora (/Norman), and Asta.

They live in a giant bird mansion full of amenities,

but have free rein of the living room during daylight hours.

Despite this freedom they seem most content hanging out on the roof of the cage

from where they nudge their toys off and then watch them drop

and hold meetings plotting the destruction of the humans ("tweet-tweet-tweet-tweet-tweet-kill").

When the birds allowed it we ventured out, stocking up on supplies at the famed King Soopers,

driving around the old town,

visiting the cute and kitschy town of Manitou,

and looping through the Garden of the Gods.

My pops used to live in Los Angeles, and I am pleased he has made the move to a new location with fresh cool air, puffy white clouds, and friends nearby. I am also pleased that his new home has the space with which to display some of the stunning artwork of my youthful years.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

PANDA, PANDA, BURNING BRIGHT. IN THE FORESTS OF THE NIGHT.

When I was waitressing at the Queen Mary I enjoyed seeing the faint traces of stamps from last night’s rock shows on my upturned wrist as I delivered trays of afternoon delicacies and tea in fine bone china. It was for similar reasons that I enjoyed going through the motions of conducting research this week while recalling that in the wee hours of Monday morning I was pole dancing in a panda suit at a Russian nightclub. Allow me to explain.


On Sunday afternoon I met up with Anna, a fellow Fulbrighter working on divination in the Han dynasty.


We attended an indie short film festival at Dos Kolegas (featuring the mural above), where the contributions ranged from uninspiring to painfully awkward, leaving early to meet Dan at my tailor Wu Lin’s. Dan was in the states last month and took the opportunity to appropriate and remove to the motherland a panda costume owned, for reasons not entirely clear, by his father. The panda suit was in good shape but for a large seam rip in the butt. The limp costume slung over his shoulder, Dan entered the tailor’s shop with Anna and I behind him and announced in Chinese that he had just slain a panda and needed to repair its pelt. Wu Lin and her assistants chuckled and stitched the suit up in minutes, refusing to charge us.


We strode triumphantly to the north end of Ritan Park to buy supplies for the evening and seek out dinner. At the restaurant, Aaron and Christine joined us and we shared a delicious meal. Spirits were high. Leaving the restaurant we wandered around the park enjoying the retirees pair-dancing by electric lamp while waiting for an important call. Just after nine the call came and we headed to the north gate to meet the pieman, who delivered into our greedy arms the apple pie he had baked us that afternoon.

All the elements were finally in place. We staked out a low stone table that looked made for a sacrifice and the fixing of drinks commenced. Dan played his trumpet, and we took turns trying on the suit. It was still rather hot outside so we often went only half in.


The park “closed” at 9:30, the cue for a guard with a bullhorn to broadcast this fact and for all the lights to go off. Undaunted, we went south, moving by business district light pollution up the rocky paths to the pagoda at the parks’ highest point. There the pie was cut, served, and devoured, with some assistance from a nearby Chinese couple gazing at the full moon. Christine, who plays in a popular bluegrass band in town and possesses an angelic voice, sang a few tunes for us as we licked our forks. She was accompanied at times by an older Chinese man lying flat on his back on the pagoda’s thick bench seats.


As we descended hours later, Anna and Christine duetted on a song from The Little Mermaid. We made a brief foray to the Stone Boat, a nearby bar, delighting and perplexing the patrons and generally being hammy.


Around midnight we said goodbye to Christine and made our way to a decadent Russian nightclub called Chocolate at the north of the park. Our bags were searched (I stashed the pie knife in shrubbery beforehand) before we descended the escalator into the subterranean club, an enormous space with dozens of tables peopled with puffy Russian oligarchs and the occasional lavishly dressed lady or scantily-clad prostitute keeping them company.


We sat in high-backed velvet chairs and stared at the empty stage, waiting for the show to began. I couldn’t take it. Commandeering the panda suit slung pleadingly on the back of my chair, I took off my shoes, pulled it on, and asked for guidance to the stage (the eyeholes in the panda suit are tiny so the wearer is practically blind). Once there I terrified patrons (or so I was told) danced to Lady Gaga, and tried (mostly without success) to climb a pole with my furry paws. I fully expected to get kicked out but apparently the audience thought it was part of the show. And dear god it was fun.


Finally, disoriented, I fumbled around for my friend and was led back through the tables to my chair (in the picture below, I appear to be a celebrity panda being escorted by bodyguard Dan), where my performance was praised by my comrades and I removed the hot fursuit.


Triumphant, I leaned back, sipped my beer, and beamed with delight at my co-conspirators. No matter where I go I somehow find the most extraordinary people.


The floor show started not long after, a few numbers featuring sexy dancing ladies in skimpy dresses and lingerie.


It concluded with the women moving about the tables, gyrating their g-strings at our eye level in an unsubtle request for tips. That was our cue to leave. Aaron and Anna headed homewards and Dan and I shared a taxi to the treehouse to hydrate and calm down a bit before attempting to sleep. Sophie was off to bed so we helped ourselves to water and went up to the roof, once there, finding it pleasant to lie in the white sand (a friend of Sophie and Wu Jie’s who ran the place for a week while they were out of town had plans to give the rooftop a beach theme) with pillows under our heads. And there, looking up at the tree stretching high above us into the star-less sky, we fell asleep, waking at dawn to brush the sand off our clothes and make our ways home. “You got home late last night, didn’t you?” Auntie Zhang asked me this afternoon over lunch. “Yes”, I said, “quite late”. And I left it at that, knowing that elsewhere in the city, there were four more with visions of a night of childish glee keeping them company as they went about their day.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

COMING HOME

I love it here so very much; honestly, it still makes me swoon-y sometimes, and yet, I am counting the days till I'm home and my happiness increases as the numbers diminish. Here, my friends, are the dates you may be interested in:

July 30th - August 5th = Seattle
August 6th - August 11th = Colorado Springs
August 12th - August 23rd = Seattle (and a little PDX in there somewhere)
August 24th - December 21st = Beijing

I'm working on making plans with everyone I know in the locations above. If I haven't contacted you yet it may be coming (but feel free to e-mail me all the same!). I can't wait to see you. There is so much to tell, so much to hear, so much time to be spent looking at trees and water and loving the place that made me.