So it's Friday afternoon here and since our regular classes were canceled today Jessica and I thought it would be a good day to take a taxi out to Carrefour to buy some foreign products (mostly just cheese and gin). Walking through an underground mall area to get to the entrance we encountered a promotional display and several pretty ladies in uniforms giving out samples and information. We couldn't tell what the product was, aside from noting that its English name was "Gayo", but I spied two figures costumed as what appeared to be giant white lotion dispensers about 30 feet away. Jessica thought they were just inflated parachute-material displays, but I was certain they were interacting, and sure enough, as we got closer, we saw that they were trying, as much as their immobility-inducing Michelin Man-esque suits would allow them, to chest-butt each other. Obviously, I was delighted by this, and stopped to chuckle and point. Big mistake. Turning around, one of the figures spotted me and started towards me with all the bumbling grace of an astronaut in low gravity. I, naturally, started backing away. The bottle picked up speed and began bounding towards me. I turned, giggling nervously and began to walk away. The bottle continued its pursuit. Jessica had moved away from me a little on realizing that I had become a target. I kept walking, looking back to realize that the bottle was closing in, and was now close enough for me to decipher the elegant cursive on its abdomen reading: "GAYO Feminine Wash".
But why was the douche still pursuing me? I didn't understand. I don't mind a good-natured chest-butt now and then, but would I be required to buy douche afterwards? I started to run, and easily created a safe distance between us. Once we rounded a corner Jessica and I nearly collapsed in hysterics, and I barely managed to choke out "I just got chased by douche", over and over again.
So yeah, maybe I shouldn't have given the punchline away so quickly, but it was quite the way to start an afternoon.
7 comments:
A thrilling tale. My favorite part was the uniformed ladies in uniforms.
it is a little gay to douche
Being chased by someone dressed up as a huge douche is much better than a normal person chasing you with douche!
I can imagine the douche wondering "Why is the America running away from me? Don't American girls like to feel fresh and take walks on the beach with their mothers and discuss their not so freshness?-that's what I saw on T.V..."
Poor giant douche.
Thanks for my postcard it is on our mantle. I really want to visit but I am terrified of how I would eat. Maybe it could a visit to china and a cleansing fast all in one trip!
rydo:
I'm going to edit that right now. won't you look silly then!
marybeth:
I guess nobody told China that.
mark:
agreed -- honestly, the unsavory connotations of being chased by the douche didn't even occur to me until you guys mentioned it, but you are undeniably correct.
carly:
you are so sweet, and I'm so glad to hear you got the postcard! I'm sure there would be a way to safely feed you, even if I had to grow it all myself!
By Gayo, they must have meant happy, which is true, it does make you happy to douche, not that I do, but thats what it seems like in the advertisements. How could flushing an orifice with vinegar not be joyful?
Hi, Erika!
I am Michelle (your Aunt Grets friend who is living in Hong Kong currently!!).
I feel like I know you even though I don't, you can thank Gretchen for that!
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I was chased by a crazy old lady made up like Tammy Faye with a douche bottle at a creepy auction once. It was pretty scary!
Also, here in Hong Kong I saw a guy (or girl maybe) dressed like an unrolled condom as advertisement in a shopping area...I thought it looked like a walking dildo. It was pretty funny, but he didn't chase us...
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