THE CRAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

This is the most famous site at Shijingshan Amusement Park in Beijing, where I spent my 3rd, er, 33rd birthday a week and a half ago. If it reminds anyone just a teensy bit of Sleeping Beauty's Castle at the original Disneyland you're not alone. Disney sued the park a few years back for its appropriation of this and other familiar places and characters. The park responded that its grounds were inspired by the Grimm Brothers' Fairy Tales and that Disney held no copyright to those. Not sure exactly which of those stories the replica Epcot dome (below, to the lower left) came from though...

Shijingshan used to be the premiere amusement park in the capital but seems to have deteriorated considerably since the shinier, more modern, more expensive Happy Valley Amusement Park opened a few years ago.

Between the dilapidation (and occasional construction) and our off-season timing, we nearly had the park to ourselves. There were no waits for rides (many of which were closed anyway) and we had acres and acres of low-population density weirdness to wander around.

I wouldn't let anyone go on any of the dangerous looking rides (not that many were interested) like "Spinning Batman", "Fun Games Fighting Castle", or "Adventure Tower", so we mostly just walked and talked and enjoyed the sights and the beautiful crisp autumn day.

The first ride we braved was a child's roller coaster that was mine-themed. I probably don't need to tell you that almost nothing could be more frightening than a Chinese mine, but the herky-jerks of the mini-coaster were exhilarating in their own way.

We also admired the bizarrely caricatured mine owner with his dragon lady presiding over the boarding area.

The carousel was popular with the ladies, but the men in our party were united in disinterest and hung back to take pictures.

Zhao Jie and Song Fang.

Shang Xuan, myself, and Guanny.

Party face!

It turned out to be a rather delightful Plan B. All year I had been plotting to rent out the curling sheet at a local ice arena, mostly as an excuse to experience the exotic sport myself, but plumbing problems put an end to that fantasy and I had to improvise. I had chosen Shijingshan instead of Happy Valley mostly because it was cheap enough that I could take myself and 8 friends there for the afternoon and still be able to treat us to dinner and though it was pretty shoddy in parts we all had a wonderful time exploring.

Although from what I had read I expected the park to be in much better shape, I was happy with the sort of place it turned out to be: strange, creepy, absurd, almost sinister in parts (see rabbit below). Not exactly a magical place but one that was utterly transporting for all of us, or at the very least a fine excuse to get out of the urban crush of the city.

My friends were troopers, making the 45 minute or so commute from the center of the city to visit a dystopian simulacra world and squeal like kiddies. Being surrounded by enthusiastic and affectionate people was of course the best part of the day.

I repaid their love by buying a huge bowl of tokens in the arcade, where we all dispersed to play games new and old.

Though I am reasonably certain no one made any investments in the cancer claw.

But it was my birthday after all, so I spared them no mercy at air hockey. Can't have people think I've gone soft now can I?

ADDENDUM, GROUP PHOTO: