SO HOW'S YOUR CHINESE?

A few of you have asked me this question at some point since I got back to China three months ago and the answer I have given has varied by the day. Sometimes I feel wildly confident and optimistic, as the day I was at a market asking questions about a sweater and upon turning to leave a woman saw my face and squawked with surprise that I was a foreigner, saying that she assumed I was Chinese from overhearing me. More common are the days when I feel uncertain and pessimistic or just fully failtastic, as when I go to conduct an interview and only understand %70 of what the respondent is saying or attend a colloquium at my university and miss the point entirely.

Most frequently, however, I'm somewhere in the middle, and it isn't a bad place to be. When I'm at the Treehouse talking to Wu Jie or Sophie or hanging out with my old Chinese teachers or new friends we can talk about practically anything, although those topics that sometimes tongue-tie me in English (postmodernism, Xenu, my enduring attraction to David Byrne) do the same thing in Mandarin.

And have I mentioned how much fun it is? Oh my goodness, I had no idea! To be able, in a language other than your own, to joke and tease, to make puns, to share secrets, to cut down would-be suitors with a judicious proverb... And that is leaving aside how satisfying and enriching it is to speak at length, or even briefly, to someone that has never talked to a foreigner before. I feel like even if I'm hardly getting any actual research done I'm half earning my fellowships by putting to rest some of the ridiculous ideas some people have about Americans and America.

I have also experienced vast improvements in my ability to speak and understand Uncle Mu, to have phone conversations with less than perfect connections, and to introduce myself clearly and with confidence to start a conversation on the right foot.

Most surprisingly of all is that my tones are pretty goddamn good. After all the time I spent at IUP anxious and depressed, fearing that I would always sound like a moron because I couldn't remember if a character was tone 2 or tone 3 (or if, and when, it changed tone) or because I had trouble reciting a whole row of 4th tones without feeling like a cheerleader, I've discovered that it was never hopeless; that time and practice make all the difference. It is also pleasant to discover that my tendency to pick up the cadence and/or accent of any place I spend considerable time (the multiple times someone in an Irish pub has tried to determine which county I was from being testament to this embarrassing habit) is a boon in language learning. In the past, when caught with British vowels on my tongue I've usually tried to spin it by arguing that unconsciously picking up the local characteristics of a language is a natural way to try making yourself more easily understood, but lets be honest here: I really would prefer to sound British.

But I'm not the only one with this tendency - I've heard the illustrious Carrie, a native English speaker, talk to Indian friends with adorably Hindi-accented English, and I've heard a lovely Irish lilt in the voices of both of my expat friends there who have made the island their home. I truly believe that it usually isn't an affectation, and even if it is, it's a damn useful one. The more I speak to people here, the better I seem to imitate the way they talk. I may stumble in remembering the tones for 解释 off hand, but I hear and use it so frequently that I say it correctly. The more stubborn problems are with words I use very infrequently or only encounter when reading, but I'll get them eventually - I hope.

It is a great relief that when I'm working on interview transcripts the sound of my own voice speaking Mandarin is not a source of pain, but of pride. Sometimes I REALLY nail a phrase or use the perfect proverb for the occasion and at those times I am happy beyond words. At other times, I merely stumble along, speaking imperfectly but communicating fluently. I never dreamed it would get this good. Now if only research wasn't driving me completely mad.

But a break is coming soon! My mad Chinese skills have recommended me to a California wine broker who needs some translation help to make a deal next week in Xi'an. I'll be off by the time you read this and will be spending xmas there as well - I'm not partial about where I'll be over the holidays but I'd like to be far away from the internet and all the happy stories of reunion. No need to feel sorry for myself when instead I can distract my lonely self with terracotta armies and tasty tasty noodles!

I miss you all very much and wish you each the happiest of holidays!