好像全中国担心我的腿似的 (It seems all of China is worried about my legs)

It's that time of year again, the time when the leaves turn and flutter to the ground, when the Siberian winds start to blow, when the entire nation's attention is concentrated on my shocking, perplexing, pneumonia-courting refusal to wear pants. To teachers, friends, people at the bus stop I am consistently called upon to defend my stockings-clad gams. No, I'm not cold, NOT COLD NOT COLD NOT COLD. Stop staring at my calves! This afternoon while I was getting dressed at the gym two women next to me began chatting about the foolishness of wearing a skirt in this weather (it was 45 degrees for pete's sake - NOT THAT COLD). I felt like a 10 year old in the presence of two old aunts and wanted to shout: I'm RIGHT HERE guys. I can HEAR you. GAWD!

I mean, do we really want to start this people? Are you really the ones to challenge me on the appropriateness of my apparel? Ma'am, didn't I see you at the Fragrant Hills last week, climbing hundreds of uneven stone steps in golden 2-inch heels? Sir, are you aware that both your jeans and shirt are encrusted in rhinestones and that you are carrying a purse? Miss, are you, or are you not wearing a t-shirt that reads: "Whip to me, can I come? Hold back. I'm gonna come" (I did not actually see this t-shirt but it comes from a very reliable source).

So can you maybe cut me some slack?

I don't know what to call it; cross-cultural conceptions of bodily warmth preservation seems a little unwieldy, but how else to explain the chasm between how most Chinese people believe one should clothe one's body in cold weather and the far more flexible ideals prevalent in other places I've lived? True, a few people in English-speaking countries have inquired after my warmth and sanity when I wear skirts on cold days, but they have also accepted my answer and moved on. On American college campuses, after all, it is not uncommon to see young meatheads wearing shorts and t-shirts when there is snow on the ground, but most of us who see them assume either their physiology permits such liberties or they haven't gone home to do laundry in a few weeks.

In China, many people seem to think it is their duty to inform me that my insufficient leg coverage will inevitably lead to illness. These ideas, as far as I understand, derive from Chinese conceptions of physical wellness rooted in Chinese medicine and philosophy, particularly as represented in ideas of balance. Mid-way through fall, long underwear sets of every conceivable color, style, and price show up in the markets and on the streets. Every single Chinese person I know personally wears these under their clothes all winter and during much of the fall and if the changing room at the gym is any indication that goes for most of the population. It seems to be seen as necessary to evenly cover all exposed parts of the body -- if not, everything is thrown out of whack. If I dressed like this I think I would pass out after only a few minutes of standing compacted on the hot, stuffy subway.

The other night I finally explained to Auntie Zhang that in America we have no such beliefs. I told her that according to medical science, the most important thing is to keep your head warm and that if it isn't warm it will "steal" heat from other parts of your body. I assured her that so long as my head, neck, and hands are kept nice and toasty my comparatively exposed calves are going to be just fine.

I also caved slightly, buying a cheap pair of black sheepskin-like boots on the street to still the clucking tongues when it really does get cold. They are ugly, and I do feel like a stormtrooper wearing them where I would prefer to feel like an elegant lady, but they will surely get dragged out a few times this winter. After all, my legs do get a little cold sometimes, I just won't give anyone the satisfaction of admitting it.