I brought scones to my morning class yesterday as prizes for an exam prep (sugar is in hot demand among students at 10am). When I arrived at my afternoon class, a second plate of scones in hand, someone had written this on the chalkboard. I looked at the board, the students looked at the scones, and laughs were had by all.
And then they attacked the scones like hungry wolves and left me for dead.
You can take the Kougar out of China, but you can't take China out of the Kougar
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
HOW LIVING IN DENMARK IS LIKE LIVING IN CHINA
When I arrived here five months ago, it was not as a
tourist, but as a migrant. A tourist has the luxury of operating in a bubble,
protected by hotels or guidebooks, rarely expected to know how much bus fare
is, or how to find the post office, or where the grocery store is hiding the
goddamn chocolate chips. A migrant looks around with different eyes, trying to
figure out how things work, trying to adjust to how things feel, constantly
reminding herself ‘this is my life now.’
I remember thinking then that I should write things down because any
anthropologist worth their salt knows that new sights, sounds, and other
various phenomena become normalized by your brain at lightning speed and what
is first strange quickly becomes commonplace (of course this is not true for
everything – I still find Danish door locks totally weird). I am obviously not
worth my salt, because I was so busy manically nesting and wading through
bureaucracy in those first few days that I didn’t write down a thing.
I definitely like the climate here, and the bike lanes, and
the concern for human well being I see reflected in national policy, but some
of the things that make me happiest are those that remind me of my life in
China. I love that I can roll home on my bicycle in the wee hours feeling
perfectly safe, that I can be confident that no one is carrying a gun, that my
laundry room is full of drying racks, that it wouldn’t occur to someone here to sue
another for not warning them against doing something stupid. The similarities
are not many and they’re definitely not obvious, but I see them every day. I
know Chinese people living in Denmark and Danish people who’ve been to China,
and they don’t seem to share my feelings, but then they didn’t grow up in the
United States. The fact is, America is a global anomaly in many ways, both good
and bad, and by comparison much of the rest of the world has much in common.
Home is a word with so many overlapping meanings and ideas
crammed into it that I wish I could carve up its territory and divide it among
other words. I’d like to call America my homeland and ideally not have it sound
like I’m imagining myself at Ellis Island. Are you still allowed to have a
homeland when you can fly back there in a day? I think so. I know America, in a
sense it’s still really all I know. I know myself as a citizen of a young
nation, I know to admire ambition and innovation, I know how to recognize a
‘bad part of town’. I know the presence of police, and that they’re there to
protect you, except when they’re not. I know the logic of grocery store
organization, the limits of acceptable behavior at a baseball game, and to
expect a happy ending. Back in the homeland my mind can turn off while my body
crosses streets and calculates the acceptable distance to establish between a
stranger and myself. I feel at ease there (except for the guns), but also a
little listless. Obviously I wouldn’t have the life I do if I didn’t like the
heightening of the senses that comes with newness and unfamiliarity.
Seattle is my hometown, obviously, because it made me, with
all its liberalism and passive aggression and lurid topography. But I need
another word: homelets? homebergs? homettes? For me home is present-tense, the
place where I feather my nest, but most of the places I’ve lived are still
fragments of home, places where I’ve spent some time, put down some shallow
roots. I’ve left a little part of myself in all those places (they’re where I
keep my horcruxes, after all), and when I go back to visit I’m greeted with the
ghosts of former selves – a not unpleasant feeling. Maybe those places are just time machines –
whether they’re dorms where you lived in college, the house where your
ex-boyfriend used to live, or far-flung foreign cities. We carry places and
people with us, but there is no doubt that the spaces themselves preserve some
of our feelings and memories – it’s one reason it’s almost painful to be in parts
of Seattle that have been so transformed over the last decade.
Hmmm, this did not take the direction I had intended. But I’ll
leave it like this, and try to lighten up the mood with a handful of silly
observations.
How Denmark is like
China
Litigation is rare
I almost wiped out on a patch of ice in my courtyard tonight. The florist must have watered his plants there today and left a little pool. "I didn't know that was there -- someone could slip on that and die!" I thought with a panic. Then I realized that to be warned that water turns to ice would be even more infantilizing than reading the signs like "Do not jump over railing" and labels like "Warning: coffee hot" designed to deflect lawsuits in the US. I concluded that I enjoy being treated like an adult.
The legal drinking age
is 18
In both China and Denmark kids can legally drink right
around the time they actually start drinking! Mind blowing. It certainly helps
that most of them aren’t driving cars.
Few non-nationals enjoy the national spirit
My supermarket has more than a dozen different varieties of
licorice schnapps and another dozen varieties of shooters combining licorice
and pomegranate, licorice and pepper, and so on. Unless you’re someone who
loathes licorice, you’d probably take any of these over the everclear with a
floral bouquet that is baijiu, but I
still get sentimental about that terrible stuff.
Racial homogeneity
It sometimes feels as if there is even less diversity here
than in China, but obviously in China I lived in a ginormous city and here I
live in a tiny town so that skews things. I do think Americans tend to forget
that despite all the ongoing problems with racism and anti-immigrant sentiment,
we are a thoroughly multi-cultural society, and that is a rarity in this world.
People wear fur!
From a materialist point of view it’s just animal skin, and
I’ve seen plenty of that made into apparel, but I’ve been enculturated to
imagine only bloodthirsty Cruella DeVilles would wear brand new fur. In China I
often saw fur scarves and vests and trimmings, here it is more common to see
substantial fur coats, whether on young fashionistas in Copenhagen or on tiny little old ladies here in Odense. This national linkage is economic as well, as a series of creepy posters at the CPH airport constantly remind me
A blanket for every
body
As far as I’m concerned this is the most brilliant idea America
has never considered. Here’s how it works: you have a bed that two people sleep
in and each one has their own blanket.
This does not preclude snuggling, but it most certainly cuts down on
sleep-disturbance-fueled resentments. Brilliant! This probably says something
about American ideals of love and partnership but I’m too lazy to think about
that. Here's a traditional kang bed from a hotel in China I once stayed in featuring a neat pile of blankets and pillows.
Automobile logic does
not dominate
You might contest this if you’ve ever been stuck in a
Beijing traffic jam, but that’s precisely the point: most of the world’s cities
weren’t made for cars. Both China and Denmark heavily tax automobile purchases
and licenses, though in China this is contradicted by heavy investments in the car
industry. This also means…
People walk to
get places
I bike much more than I walk here, the opposite of China,
but in neither place have I ever felt like a hobo trying to get
somewhere public transit won’t take me. One illustration of this I enjoy: use
google street view most places in the states and you see mostly cars, use it
here and you almost always see people.
The streets are safe,
even for women
![]() |
| This is a pedestrial street so it's technically cheating but you get the idea. |
I love strolling around a sleepy city. One of the hardest
things to get used to after coming back to the states from my longest stretch in China was that I could no
longer step out my front door at any hour. When I came home late I was on hyper-alert on that block-long walk from the
bus stop to my front door. I’ve never experienced street harassment in either
China or Denmark either. Once more I suspect there is a bigger story here about
gender relations and power, but it well exceeds my point, which is merely that the feeling that as a woman you are a target is not universal (though it persists in far too many places).
Conservation is
standard practice
Companies and local governments in the US like to loudly
praise themselves when they step up their conservation efforts, and I’m sure
that’s for the best, but ways to save energy and water are built into the
structure of life in many places, simply because it makes sense. In China, Denmark, and lots
of other places, refrigerators are small, toilets all have two different
flushes, dryers are few while clotheslines and racks are many, and the lights
are never on in stairwells and hallways unless someone is in them (in China
lights are almost always noise activated, here there are switches near most
doors that turn the lights for a minute or so).
Funny English signs
Although the Danes’ English is exceptional I still find things
to amuse myself with. These salons are my two favorite local examples
![]() |
| "Fancy Hair makes people"? In the sense that consumer choices are constitutive of our conceptions of individualized selves I cannot disagree with that. |
Of course the Chinese are way ahead in this arena. I dug back in the
archives for some classics
And if you still doubt the similarities I see in these two
homelettes have a looksee here. Apparently naming your restaurant “Mr.
Pizza” is practically a cultural universal
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
THE LIFE OF ZELDA
She may look fantastic on a bear-skin rug and prefer her food and drink served in cut glass, but Zelda was not to the manor born. Two years ago she was delivered to me at the mansion on Beacon in a heart-printed harness by a man who found her leaving the Tacoma Mall through the automatic glass doors. Which makes perfect sense. Zelda is a creature of elegant bearing and high standards, but she’s also a disgusting animal with no sense of the right time and place for public grooming and a preference for barfing on bedding.
It's easy to imagine her strolling disdainfully out of a mall she regarded as beneath her and happily taking advantage of the first sucker that smelled like central heating. Zelda adapted rapidly to mansion life, particularly the part where she had half a dozen beds containing warm bodies to choose from each night. I worried before I moved here that after the polyamory of mansion life I would not be enough person for her.
I worried too that uprooting her so suddenly then putting her in a small, dark bag for 20+ hours for the journey here would be too much trauma. Was it was right to risk the mental health of an innocent animal? Did cats have nightmares? Would she ever forgive me? Luckily, whatever brainspace exists in those tiny skulls, not much of it is devoted to long-term memory. A few days of rest and a thorough sniffing of her surroundings and Zelda was just as imperious as ever
Zelda seems very happy here, even more so then she was in the mansion. She’s more mellow and affectionate and still just neurotic enough to be amusing. The square footage of her domain has shrunk, but she now has access to far superior views, and I believe she has found her life's purpose in monitoring the life of the neighborhood.
From one side of the apartment she can look out on a relatively bustling street, from the other our building’s courtyard and bike hut. The windowsills are broad and I’ve covered their cold tile with wooly fabric so she stays cozy.
Zelda belongs to the school of thought that everything she can see is within her jurisdiction and her responsibility to monitor. It's not easy to keep track of all the goings-on outside of either window, and I sometimes find her galloping anxiously across the apartment from one to the other to investigate a new sound. I didn’t realize until I arrived here that my apartment was on the first floor, not the second, and was a little disconcerted the first time I made eye contact with someone standing up inside a bus from within my living room.
But for a cat it doesn’t get any better. One night I noticed Zelda was pressed against the window, purring loudly, and when I came over to investigate found that she had locked eyes with an attractive man at the bus stop. I wonder if he’s ever come back. Does half the neighborhood have a private relationship with my cat? I kind of hope so.
From the other window she flirts with the florist. When it was warmer outside I would take her out on her leash while I hung my laundry on the clothesline and the florist would come over to pet her and make the Danish “meow” sound. He stores his sidewalk display on shelves along the courtyard entry overnight and when she hears wheels rolling on concrete in the morning and evening she scurries over to observe.
It’s not all neighborhood watch. Everyday there is much sleeping to be done, and it must be done in many different places. On the windowsills, on the couch,
When I work from home, which I do about once a week, she takes full advantage of any horizontality, and I squeal at the cuteness and hold my book up higher to protect myself.
And when I leave in the morning, rolling my bike out of the hut to the gate, I usually see her snake-green eyes and black silhouette in the window, and I wave goodbye.
So in conclusion, yes, you should bring your cat to Denmark. But only if she's awesome.
![]() |
| These are both the same cat |
It's easy to imagine her strolling disdainfully out of a mall she regarded as beneath her and happily taking advantage of the first sucker that smelled like central heating. Zelda adapted rapidly to mansion life, particularly the part where she had half a dozen beds containing warm bodies to choose from each night. I worried before I moved here that after the polyamory of mansion life I would not be enough person for her.
I worried too that uprooting her so suddenly then putting her in a small, dark bag for 20+ hours for the journey here would be too much trauma. Was it was right to risk the mental health of an innocent animal? Did cats have nightmares? Would she ever forgive me? Luckily, whatever brainspace exists in those tiny skulls, not much of it is devoted to long-term memory. A few days of rest and a thorough sniffing of her surroundings and Zelda was just as imperious as ever
Zelda seems very happy here, even more so then she was in the mansion. She’s more mellow and affectionate and still just neurotic enough to be amusing. The square footage of her domain has shrunk, but she now has access to far superior views, and I believe she has found her life's purpose in monitoring the life of the neighborhood.
From one side of the apartment she can look out on a relatively bustling street, from the other our building’s courtyard and bike hut. The windowsills are broad and I’ve covered their cold tile with wooly fabric so she stays cozy.
| Street-facing window |
| Courtyard-facing window |
![]() |
| Bike hut with pretty bike |
Zelda belongs to the school of thought that everything she can see is within her jurisdiction and her responsibility to monitor. It's not easy to keep track of all the goings-on outside of either window, and I sometimes find her galloping anxiously across the apartment from one to the other to investigate a new sound. I didn’t realize until I arrived here that my apartment was on the first floor, not the second, and was a little disconcerted the first time I made eye contact with someone standing up inside a bus from within my living room.
| Don't worry mom, I have blinds |
But for a cat it doesn’t get any better. One night I noticed Zelda was pressed against the window, purring loudly, and when I came over to investigate found that she had locked eyes with an attractive man at the bus stop. I wonder if he’s ever come back. Does half the neighborhood have a private relationship with my cat? I kind of hope so.
From the other window she flirts with the florist. When it was warmer outside I would take her out on her leash while I hung my laundry on the clothesline and the florist would come over to pet her and make the Danish “meow” sound. He stores his sidewalk display on shelves along the courtyard entry overnight and when she hears wheels rolling on concrete in the morning and evening she scurries over to observe.
It’s not all neighborhood watch. Everyday there is much sleeping to be done, and it must be done in many different places. On the windowsills, on the couch,
in the fruit basket,
camouflaged in the closet,
or when she's feeling traditional, on one of my two beds.
When I work from home, which I do about once a week, she takes full advantage of any horizontality, and I squeal at the cuteness and hold my book up higher to protect myself.
And when I leave in the morning, rolling my bike out of the hut to the gate, I usually see her snake-green eyes and black silhouette in the window, and I wave goodbye.
So in conclusion, yes, you should bring your cat to Denmark. But only if she's awesome.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
SONS & DAUGHTERS OF FALLEN and ASCENDANT EMPIRES: LET US EAT TURKISH DELIGHT TOGETHER
Middle Eastern Technical University (METU)
![]() | |||||||
One of the many campus cats
|
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